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Hi. Happy blog. This entry I am going to talk about my mental issues and medication a little so please beware if you don't wanna hear about it. I'll still talk about a song and other things on my mind. It's quite short today.

Tomorrow, I am seeing a new doctor. Hopefully we will talk about my issues and find some kind of solution or something. For reference, I am becoming an increasingly angry person. I do not really have a lot of patience and I think really violent angry things and am easily stressed out. It is hard. I try not to let it effect other people but most of all it effects me! I am realizing I am mostly upset by injustice and ignorance. I would like to be calmer so I do not die at 30. Hopefully, this new doctor will put me back on anti-psychotics. I don;t really like being on medication but I don't want to tear anyone to shreds so this is the current state until I get better at DBT. I'll make sure to be kind.

I feel a little bad because a lot of my anger is aimed towards such stupid meaningless things! Currently my brain has latched onto the thought process relating to my coworker: "Wow, it must be nice to just be able to getaway with being blissfully unaware and helpless and everyone just allows you to get away with everything instead of making you figure it out yourself! I would've loved to have that but I'm unfortunately 1000% of everything!" But then i realize I am projecting and stew in annoyance but act civil, instead. Healing is a long road.

Here's a song for today. SFW: Yattane Harubane (Horray, It's Spring). Spring ended like a day ago, but I'm still enjoying this.

The sad thing about these unpopular Showa idol groups who didn't make a lot of sales, is that there is not a lot of information on them accessible to the English speaker. My Japanese is less than good so I am locked off from a lot of stuff. No romaji lyric sheets, even, but I can make those myself so I can sing along. I thought about posting covers because I sing a lot but I'm a bit shy.

One thing I find really odd about this video is that near the beginning there is a clip of some guy trapped in some contraption clapping along??? I don't really understand it and I don't know why it isn't shown again but it's a little funny and I like it. I guess he is trapped by the cuteness and attention grabbing beauty of our good friends in Soft Cream. I like them. They have that classic mid 1980s Seiko haircut. I personally don't really care for the Seiko-chan cut and mostly brush it off, but it is cute. I think I just prefer the late 1980s idol hairstyles. Yukiko Iwai had a very cute bob. But that is no dig on Soft Cream, they make it look very cute. They have really good clear powerful demanding vocals! I miss voices like this! Sometimes, when I think about Showa idols, I think about how a lot of them did not make it big and retired. I imagine the members of Soft Cream are living more or less normal lives, rarely recognized. With the big groups and idols like Onyanko Club, you can sometimes see a glimpse of what theyre up to now (Minayo Watanabe's youtube, Marina Watanabe's television activities), but even that is slim. Hm...

NSFW: Unsure. I don't really have any thoughts that I can express with words today... but I still wanted to say something here. Actually I do have something I want to say I think no clit would be a win. I don't really need it. That's it for now.